A Sad Update

This is just a little about what has been going on the past couple of weeks:

MIKE WENT TO INDIA!!!

He went for business, but was able to do some sightseeing with a guide.

(I will post his pictures soon) This picture at the Taj Mahal cracks me up. 

While Mike was in India, he bought this opal bracelet for me. It was such a steal that we are still trying to figure out how these opals could be real. But they have to be. It's beautiful.

My pregnancy seemed to be going really well. I was following the doctor's orders doing my Lovenox shots once a day, feeling as yucky as ever, and eating whatever strange foods sounded appealing.

At 9 weeks, I finally felt comfortable enough to box up all of

my clothes and make room for maternity wear in my closet ...

In weather news - We have had so many snow days! So many that we ended up having a six day weekend with Thursday and Friday for snow, Monday for President's Day, and Tuesday again for snow. I don't really mind the snow, it's the bitter cold that gets to me. We are in the 20's this week when we should be in the 40's. It's not fair.

At least the boys could go out and sled for a little while.

 Can you see them up there? Matthew had some friends over. :)

Now for the sad part ... Last Thursday was my 10 week mark. I saw the nurse that day for a routine health history appointment. As part of her advice going forward in my pregnancy, she said something that really stuck with me. Without going into details, I'll just say that I had a very minor symptom as soon as I got home. I remembered the words of that nurse, and called right away. It was after hours, so I got the doctor on call. He said that it was probably nothing, but with my history and risk factors, he said I should call first thing in the morning and schedule a same day ultrasound. I called Friday morning and got an appointment for 1:30pm. Mike said not to worry. I wasn't at first, but then in the morning I had a sinking feeling that wouldn't go away. Before I left for the doctor's office, I prayed that I might be prepared for whatever news I would hear. I prayed for strength. Thank goodness, because I needed it. We had just seen that quickly beating little heart two weeks earlier. And now at this ultrasound, it was so obviously not there.

It sounds weird to say this, but Mike and I really felt like this was a blessing. We were excited to have a baby, and were ready to change all of our plans for the next 20 years. For whatever reason, all of that changed. We were both so sad. And we still are. But we could have been spared from some true hardships with this happening now. I am glad that it happened early, and it happened quietly. This is what they call a missed miscarriage. Something goes wrong and the fetus stops developing, but the body doesn't recognize it. That little symptom I had was truly a blessing. Without that I probably would have gone into labor like the other times. That is NOT fun. The doctor said we could wait for it to happen naturally, or he could schedule me in for a D&C that evening. I chose not to wait. Mike came home, and we went in at 4:30pm. Ask me some day about the ridiculous check in procedure with the nurses, and the "physical" with Sue-Jenny. I lost it at one point and snapped at the nurse. SO FRUSTRATING. And then I had to be super nice to her the rest of the time to make up for that one minute when I was a jerk. Anyway, I didn't go in until it was almost 7pm. It was a very long day.

Recovery has been a pain, but I am slowly feeling better. I always have a hard time after giving birth, so I guess this would be close to that. I stayed home and rested over the weekend except for going to a baptism for my friend Marilyn's kids (they are twins). I was a wreck afterward, but I was so glad I went. And Marilyn sent me the most gorgeous roses on Tuesday. I LOVE THEM. They are in my room now where I do aroma therapy every time I enter the room, inhaling their scent deeply. LOL. They make me happy.

The kids have been wonderful, and Mike is the best. I love him so much. This has been really rough, but we are making our way through it.

I. Am. PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

HUGE HUGE HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY:

Are you in shock?? Did you faint?? Maybe I should have told you to sit down first ... Well, we couldn't be more excited. I've always said after having Michael that we are done having kids. Ask anyone! But this last year I have been thinking a lot about what it would be like to have another one. Weird, right? I can't say that we were trying to get pregnant, but we definitely knew it was a possibility. And I have been kind of expecting it for many months now. So, THIS WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT OR A SURPRISE. Mike was in denial that I actually could get pregnant, and I think I was a bit shocked when I found out. Now though we are very excited and feel like this is a blessing. Mike said this is our second chance to get it right. Ha!

The surprise is that everything is going so well. I shouldn't be surprised though. I am very high risk with my age, the previous DVT and the two blood clotting factors that I have. In fact, that is what can probably account for the previous miscarriages I had in between each of my kids. Those were at 5, 7 and 12 weeks. I was afraid after Michael that I would lose a baby even later, and didn't want to risk it. Now that we know what is up with my body (thanks to THE CLOT of 2007), I am under the right care and shooting my self up with Lovenox every stinkin' day. So, I shouldn't be surprised that things are going well.

HOW DID THE KIDS REACT? Soooo funny. We found out right after Michael's birthday. I knew that I would be feeling awful (which I am), and I would have a lot of doctor's appointments. It's much easier to hide when your kids are little. But I have big kids! They would know something is up, so we decided to go ahead and tell them. We got Lauren on the phone and made the big announcement. The boys didn't have much of a chance to react because Lauren completely lost her mind. It was hilarious. She was laughing hysterically and talking unintelligibly in between the laughter. "I knew it!" "Oh my gosh, you're having a baby!!!" "If it's a girl, can we name her Rosie??" Hahaha. Once she finally calmed down, we could ask the boys what they thought. They were a little shell shocked, not knowing what to think. They're getting used to the idea though, and I think they're happy about it. What an education this will be for Matthew and Michael to have a baby in the house! They are already learning more than they want to know. We were all in the car the other day. I can't remember the conversation, but I said, "You try growing a baby in your uterus, and see how YOU feel!" Michael shouted from the back seat, "What's a UTERUS?" LOL. 

Lauren texted me this picture after we called her.

She said she and her friends were celebrating! I love it!

This will mean some big changes in our house. It is a bit overwhelming. But we are taking it one day at a time. I have been feeling tired, dizzy and nauseous. It's wonderful! I never had any symptoms of being pregnant when I miscarried, so it is very reassuring that I definitely feel pregnant. It's manageable though. I never eat much the first trimester. In fact, I have already lost five pounds. That's par for the course. With Michael I lost 15 lbs, then gained 20. Yes, me getting fat had nothing to do with having babies. ;-)

I had to go out and buy some maternity clothes almost right away. As usual, my uterus is huge (you probably didn't need to know that) so I had to get some clothes. They have such cute stuff now! I only got a few things, and have been waiting for this ultrasound to do more shopping. The doctor said that the 8 week ultrasound would show if it is a normal pregnancy. And it is. So, I am going shopping!

I walked by the baby department in Target the other day and literally almost fainted. I'm not kidding. The car seats, the cribs, the strollers ... Too much to think about now!

I AM 8 WEEKS NOW, AND DUE IN SEPTEMBER. I should have waited four more weeks to tell people, but I couldn't wait. If something goes wrong, I'd rather have people know. But for now we have a little baby in there with a very healthy, quickly beating little heart. WOW!!!!!!

Deacon in the House!

Today was Michael's first Sunday passing the sacrament as a new Deacon.

Good job, Michael!